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Counseling Help with Anxiety

“I have fear for my husband stepping in the car and driving while it is raining”. “I am so scared that my girlfriend is not honest with me”.” I am getting crazy about the test tomorrow that I think I am not going to pass”. “I am so fearful for having a fight with my boss about not doing my job right”.

Fear, anxiety.  Feelings of worry, tension, hyper vigilance. All kinds of unpleasant feelings in your body that you don’t want to feel. Feelings that make your body feel bad, but also that trigger tons of non-productive thoughts in your mind. The thoughts trigger your feelings and emotions, and trigger actions. And actions, caused by emotions such as fear or anxiety, are not always the right actions.

Isn’t that amazing, how we human beings can anticipate on events that haven’t even happened yet? A nice dose of fear is needed, and was always needed. Look back at the time when human beings always had to hunt for survival. There were so many threats around the corner, not only for the brave man, but also for the women who were left behind and had to protect their children. They had to use their instinct, their intuition, and their common sense to identify danger in order to survive. And this instinct for danger obviously has not left our genes, however, we may not always use it functionally. Because an overdose of fear and anxiety is not functional and not needed. So, how can you filter the overdose of fear or anxiety that is in your system, and learn to benefit from the part that is functional and needed in your everyday life existence?

Welcome your body experience.

Breathe in, and breathe out. Become aware of your body, and how it feels when you are thinking about a low anxiety provoking event. Where in your body do you feel the tension? Do you feel your belly tensing up, or your chest becoming warm? Let’s examine that carefully. Once you are able to identify where you feel the anxiety or fear, let’s check in with your body where you do not feel any fear or tension. Where do you feel comfortable? Let’s go down towards your feet, and see where it feels ok. Then, while you  have the anxiety provoking event in your mind, let’s focus on the part of your body that feels ok.

And, remember to breathe in and breathe out. Next time when you notice that your body is becoming aroused, focus on the part that still feels ok. Remember, the more energy you put in something, the bigger it becomes. That is why it is important to focus on the part that feels good.

Do this over and over again. It is like fitness: You have to develop the muscle and practice and practice in order to remember it and be able to do it. Your mind has been conditioned otherwise, therefore, this takes practice. Another tool you can use is, shifting your attention to something else. Focus on different objects in the room and describe what you are seeing. The last took I am going to share with you is, to just simply notice the anxiety provoking thoughts in your mind. Don’t find it, accept it, let it be there. Remember, the more energy you put in to something, the bigger it becomes. Therefore, don’t fight the anxiety. It’s there, it will leave your body again.

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